READ ME ... yeah, right. Right?

I'm sick of everyone else having on-line diaries. I want one too.

What is this all about? Maybe you should read the READ ME READ ME.

september 13, 1996: friday the thirteenth

it is friday the thirteenth.


it is also the jewish new year. things are supposed to be anew.

why do things have to be so much the same?

Tupac was a brilliant rapper and actor. His performance in Juice chilled my spine. His perfomance in Poetic Justice was inpiring.

His song Califonia, with Dr. Dre was gorgeous.

He was gifted and beautiful. He died at age 25. He was shot.

I am tormented and heartbroken.

w h y.

may tupac rest in peace. may his family and friends achieve peace of mind. may he be remembered.

another day, another travesty of justice to add to the cacophany. can't we turn over a new leaf?

This morning I received this letter from my parents:

Date: Fri, 13 Sep 1996 11:43:38 -0500 (CDT)
From: Merzy Eisenberg
Subject: 5757

That is the year. Our love and our best wishes to you for a shana tova are in this message.

We are heading out to Door County in a few minutes to throw away our sins in Lake Michigan and to meditate and introspect in the state parks.

Mom and DAd

And I grew sad.

I can't believe it. It is Rosh Hashana already, and where am I. What the fuck have I done.

As I have mentioned before, I am not a religious person, and I do not believe in organized religion, but I grew up in a very Jewish home, and I view many of the Jewish traditions -- especially the seasonal-based holidays -- useful.

I always hated going to synogogue on the High Holidays (Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, in the fall), and I never agreed with fasting on the latter of the two holidays, but I still find the symbolism of a new year starting in fall to be logical.

The Jewish year starts in fall, I am told, because it is in winter when things rejuvenate (like sleeping), in spring they are born, in summer they flourish, and in fall they die. The daily cycle follows a similar scheme.

In the fall, people are told to reflect upon their last year, think about what they did wrong, make apologies when due, and try to plan a more warm, kind, productive year ahead. While the year technically begins on Rosh Hashana, and the Torah is started over on Simchat Torah, the first task of the year comes with Yom Kipur -- apoligizing to all you have hurt, and forgiving those who have hurt you.

By every definition of the term, I have a lot of apologizing to do.

I also long for, perhaps selfishly and idealistically, similar behavior from others.

A lot of people have hurt me immensely over the last year, and undoubtedly very few will attempt to make amends, but I will almost surely forgive them.

I only hope that I can apologize to myself, and be able to forgive me.

And move on.





or, if you must, back to Rebecca's Revenge

Copyright 1996 Rebecca Eisenberg All rights Reserved.