What is this all about? Maybe you should read the READ ME READ ME.
december 29, 1996:
While working on my resolutions ...
I have maintained a steady fascination with astrology since very early childhood (having a much older brother and sister always helps with getting into things like new age hippiestuff, paranormal-based radio talkshow, and The Clash at a young age). Even, in third grade, I did a class report on astrology, complete with five four-foot tagboard posters that outlined the Zodiac, the phases of the constellations and moon, and the historical significance behind the signs and houses. I loved doing it, but I think it did not go over very well with the teacher of the Science class for which it was prepared.
Nine years ago, well before it was hip, I taught myself to read the Tarot. The Tarot fascinated me even more than did astrology, because of the myths and stories behind each card, the deconstruction possible through interpreting the pictures, and the ways of reading the cards in reference to each other and in reference to the person whose cards I was reading. It also struck me as a very feminist witch-like thing to do, and I was pretty good at it, to (pointy-toed) boot. For about 7 years I maintained a habit of semi-regular card reading, for myself and for others who asked me to, when I was curious enough about them in order to want to spend the time to read their cards.
Until about a year or two ago, that is, when I suddenly stopped.
I might have stopped because all of a sudden my life seemed too "busy" -- I was working 90 hour weeks, sleeping in my office regularly, and relishing with desperate verve the time I spent being social ... very social. And nowadays, I haven't really met anyone that has so intrigued and compelled me that I have felt that urge to reach for my cards (like I have done in the past), and I don't seem to have any monumental decisions to make. (Should I go back to law? Well, it is not that easy if I decided to, which I have, in part. Should I write for this magazine or that magazine? Well, I will publish in almost any magazine that offers me a decent assignment and a reasonable paycheck for the work. Should I choose person A or person B? It is not a matter of my choosing. The biggest decisions lately for me seem to be, should I order Chinese or walk in the rain to Safeway, or should I go skating with the funhouse or to lesbian bars with Christine's new roommate. (I chose skating)) When I ask others for advice, they tell me -- always -- that I am on the right path; doing the right thing. But what am I doing?
I want to read the cards again; I will, soon. In the meanwhile, my two latest horoscopes, written by my favorite astrologist, Rob Brezsny, for his syndicated column published in the San Francisco Weekly, articulated my deepest fears and fantasies. Today, for the first time in a while, I am going to believe that Rob did not write tongue-in-cheek, and that he did not write for the 8 or so percent of the population who is Aries, but rather, he wrote for me, and wrote in earnest.
Allow me to indulge myself. Thanks.
Week of December 19, 1996
ARIES (March 21-April 19)
If you'll ever in this life get your picture in the newspaper, it'll probably be because of the heroic (or at least notorious) feats you pull off in 1997. On a darker note, if you ever in this life end up howling with vindication as you drive your adversary's face into the mud with your boot, it'll also be in 1997. In conclusion, Aries, it's likely to be a year in which you score so many strident, unusual successes that by January, 1998 you may have to get to know yourself all over again.
Week of December 26, 1996
ARIES (March 21-April 19)
Seismologists were recently intrigued to discover the existence of slow-motion earthquakes. Unlike the fast, powerful jolts of conventional temblors, this pokey variety can take days to unfold and never send plates flying off a single shelf. Of course I wasn't surprised in the least to learn this news, since for months I've been visualizing your year ahead as a kind of slow-motion earthquake. The energy release will be spectacular. The realignment of forces will be epic. And yet it should all happen with virtually no trauma or damage.
I have written a bit more about how I've been living, what I've been thinking, and where things are.
Go check it out.
or, if you must, back to Rebecca's Revenge