READ ME ... yeah, right. Right?

I'm sick of everyone else having on-line diaries. I want one too.

What is this all about? Maybe you should read the READ ME READ ME.

may 9, 1996: household items

i cannot believe i missed this very fascinating clause in that prior letter

what now?

When Marshall wrote

Hey! Hello, it's me, Marshall P.

How are you? I heard you on KPFT back in January and freaked out. I was pointing at the radio and yelling,"I know that voice! Her ferret bit me on the hand!" I was on the freeway & didn't get to a phone. I've been in Florida since '84 and just came back to Houston. I got laid off. Anyway, I haven't been able to find any of the old gang except you. Do you still talk to Elizabeth, Lonnie, Diana, or the tall guy (Dave?) who wore household items on his ear? I can't remember all the names. So, I'm on this damned aol and I know it's lame, but the mag I write for (Ink Nineteen in Melbourne, FL) is on aol so I pretty much just use it to send in reviews. I need a better service, any suggestions? I hope you are well. If you can't stand to e-mail me on aol, give me a call at ( houston phone number )

i totally missed that line about household items being worn on his ears.

now i have to pay amends by paying homage to household items.

what is a household item anyway? and why would a person named Dave wear one on his ears? the answer, i have no doubt, is utility. a household item must be an item with utility.

my friend weevil has a matrix upon which she measures all people. the quadrants of this matrix are: cute and useful (the best), cute and not useful, not cute and useful, and not cute and not useful (the worst of all).

to be worn on an ear, i imagine that the household item would have to be both cute and useful. seems to make sense.

a strange thing happened to me today. i stopped into into a candle store, on the way back from buying bagels, and felt the urge to buy candles. this, even though i am a tad bit short on cash.

strangely, the candle store had been ripped off that morning by a junkie. see, was i not right about what i said about gangs yesterday?

so i purchased a candle that was called "instant money." it is green. it says, in a sticker on it, "burn this candle to increase your wealth NOW! use in applications where prosperity is sought and needed."

a couple hours later, i learned that i will indeed receive some money from one of my jobs, in the near future, and i also lined up another smallish gig to work at.

the second candle i bought is purple and is called "luck." maybe if i burn that candle, i will get LUCKY.

too bad the store didn't burn those candles. maybe then it would not have been ripped off.

life is strange sometimes.

but i do hope that the mysterious tall Dave who wore household items on his ears did not wear candles. candles are cute and useful, but can cause hair damage when worn on the ears. i mean, i would never wear candles on my ears, no matter how cute and useful they might be. my hair has enough troubles already.





or, if you must, back to Rebecca's Revenge

Copyright 1996 Rebecca Eisenberg