READ ME ... yeah, right. Right?

I'm sick of everyone else having on-line diaries. I want one too.

What is this all about? Maybe you should read the READ ME READ ME.

october 27, 1998:
three thoughts

It was the best almost-kiss I ever didn't have.

As I approach the third anniversary of Yale's death, it is hard for me not to feel at least a little bit groundless. Yale's death remains, to this day, the most destabilizing experience of my life; the only time where truly the earth felt shaken beneath me; beyond the two earthquakes I survived; beyond being fired; making any and all betrayals and breakups and boundaries seem inconsequential, even meaningless.

Now if only people could see truly what is on my mind, when they thoughtlessly believe that I worry about their pettiness. It takes a truly big person, I think, to see beyond themselves.

In that regard, I sure don't qualify.

This evening the house across the street from me caught fire. I was on my way out the door, heading to the dry cleaners when I smelled it. Then I saw it: smoke seeping through the roof. The house right across the street. All of my neighbors, most of whom are families with young children, stood on the street and we all stared at the house on fire. Soon the fire trucks arrived and the firefighters rushed in. Everyone was okay, they said. And I went to the drycleaners.

On the way to my car, I saw the woman who lives in the inlaw beneath me. "Is it our house?" she shrilled. "Thank goodness. Thank goodness."

Both Michael Jackson and Madonna were born in August, 1958. I know that only because VH-1 showed a Michael Jackson documentary immediately following the 90-minute Madonna documentary I watched the other morning.

Over the past decade there must have been made over two dozen documentaries on Madonna, some of them 'fictionalized' and 'unauthorized;' others (like Truth and Dare) created and produced by the woman herself. I own most of them (as well as most of her books and all of her records). How could I not?

It is so easy for me to gloat about my fascination with Madonna, since, in 16 years hindsight, she did become the benghali typhoon that Gail and I knew she would be, as we lay on our stomachs in Gail's living room, watching and re-watching the tape of "Borderline" Gail had made from Friday Night Videos.

People still cannot understand how important it is and was to have some woman - - any woman - - out in the spotlight saying "I want to have sex; I want to have money; I want to have it all. And I will."

Her strategy: calculated fearlessness. Her method: taking risks, sometimes making mistakes but bouncing back, not necessarily having all of the talent and skills to begin with but learning how to learn, and most importantly, surrounding herself with good teachers.

Just you wait.

october 25: happy 36th b-day, Joey

Enough Microsoft!
7 Questions, Answered
Burning Man Photos
Silicon Spin.
New References Galore!
more stuff.

thanks, COMOFLOW





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Copyright 1996, 1997, 1998 Rebecca L. Eisenberg All rights Reserved.