READ ME ... yeah, right. Right?

I'm sick of everyone else having on-line diaries. I want one too.

What is this all about? Maybe you should read the READ ME READ ME.

june 11, 1997:
... m e o w ...

Say all the mean things that you want, but I love my cat. Eduardo is the most beautiful, strong, loving, affectionate, sensitive creature on earth. He is brilliant and loyal. He is loving and caring. He headbutts me when I am writing and snuggles me when I am crying. He warms me in a way that no human can. I spend all day and all night with him. I love him. He is injured, and it is my fault, and I am heartbroken.

I really want to talk about this, yet it hurts me to talk about this, so I am going to post here the emails I sent to the rebecalist. I hope that that is okay.

My parents are always telling me that people should come before animals, and I agree with that, but in this case, the only human involved is myself. And I desperately want Edward back. I miss him.

I just posted this to the well.

Hi. I'm not usually the beam-requesting type, but I hope that you will forgive that and send beams to my wonderful kitty Edward, who has been my most loyal friend, confidente and snugglebuddy since 1990, who fell over four flights of stairs and is now in the hospital. Edward has lived with me through more than 10 apartments, gone with me on at least six cross-country drives, and experienced with me three deaths and too many breakups to mention. I am positively terrified of a life without him, and I cannot believe that I allowed him to fall from that ledge. Please send beams; he is the most wonderful animal in the world; much more intelligent than his lousy mother; and he never did a bad deed in his life. Thanks so much.

Please wish edward well! His mommy is totally scared and an absolute mess.

Thanks so much to those who called and sent emails. It means so much to me. I'm really upset. I know that edward is "just a cat," but to me he is so much more. He is Edward. He is with me every day as I sit at home, alone, and try to get work done, and every nite (or early morning) when I finally fall asleep. He's there in the morning; he's my biggest stability and most loyal companion. I love him so very very dearly. I almost lost custody of him once in the past; I should never ever have left that window open. This is totally my fault.

Here's the update. (I just posted this on the well, as well.)

Edward has two health problems. First, he has bruised lung lobe -- which means that a portion of his lung is bruised - only one of the five sections. That will heal with antibiotics and fluids. He is starting on fluids now.

He also has a broken pelvis, which is totally not good. With respect to this there are two options -- one is with surgery and one is without surgery. A portion of his pelvis that is broken involves his hip joint, and without surgery, there is a possibility that he could have problems with his hip joint later. If those problems arise later, he could have surgery later. With surgery, he will probably be fixed 'better,' and there is less of a likelihood of problems down the road. The downside of surgery is that it is expensive and invasive.

The vet said that edward will be staying there overnight and he'll monitor him to see how he is progressing. If edward starts to get better on his own, then he won't really need surgery. If he gets worse, he will need surgery. As it stands, I have no financial resources to provide for him the surgery. This may change. It's very expensive.

No matter what, he will be confined to a cat carrier for at least a month. No leaping. He'll never be 100 percent. He'll never be as good as new.

I love edward so much; I cannot believe that he isn't here head-butting me now as I type this. I'm never going to forgive myself for this. The apartment is empty without him.

Please send beams that he doesn't need surgery. Please send beams that he gets better.

(lots of nice thoughts and even offers to help fund edward's surgery were posted to the well in here!)

I'm really overwhelmed. Thanks so very much, all of you. This has been such a hard day and *really* truly your messages and beams have made this so much better for me. I'm quite the online cynic, of course, so I have had to deal with a fair amount of cognitive dissonance over this -- hey, these are real people; they are having a real effect on my life -- and for that I am overjoyed for this release from cynicism, if that makes sense. In other words, thanks, thanks and so many more thanks. I'm so grateful.

Anyway, I stopped by the pet clinic earlier, and hung with my baby. He is being fed fluids intraveniously (sp) and is fairly immobilized. The doctors showed me the ex-rays, and the fractures are multiple and complex. His leg is not correctly meeting his pelvis; surgery seems more than mandatory (with the only other option being 'euthanization,' which I cannot even dream of doing). I'm slowly dealing with my guilt about this. Other people, including all of you, have been a huge help to me. I'm so grateful.

I have been paying off my car for the past four years, and I am willing to spend at least as much time and money paying off this surgery for Edward. Your offers for an Edward fund are unbelievably kind and generous, as this whole ordeal will total anywhere between $1500 and 2k or so. When I read those posts above, I literally starting crying. It's so very kind of you. I will put my own address and that of Edward's vet in my bio, but here also is the address and phone number where any surgery money can be sent, if that is preferred:

Mission Pet Hospital
Attn: Curtis Press, DVM
(re: Edward Eisenberg, rebecca eisenberg)
720 Valencia
San Francisco, CA 94110
(415) 552-1969

I don't want to get my hopes up too much, but I must say, I feel so much better. Just knowing that you are thinking of Edward makes me feel better. Just knowing that you relate to how important to a person a pet can be, and how painful it is to risk losing that pet, makes me feel so much better. If I believed in god -- and sometimes I wish I did -- I would say bless you. Thanks.

I will keep y'all updated. I know this is dorky, I know I am a dork, but I love my cat, and I want him to get better. His injury is due to my own negligence for keeping the window open, and if anyone deserves to pay for this, it is I. But it is not edward. He didn't do anything wrong. He's just a cat. A wonderful, beautiful, sweet, loving affectionate cat. Pets are important. And if one out of every ten humans were as smart, funny and sensitive as Edward, we would have a better world.

We can learn a lot from animals. And through caring for them, we can learn, in a world made up of all sorts of species, how small we truly are.

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Copyright 1996, 1997 Rebecca L. Eisenberg All rights 17 Reserved.